I'm tired... Want to rest.

Role Play

What the fucc am I doin?
Is this "love" worth pursuing?
Excluded myself from daily duties
Strayed away from charming cuties
Closed my eyes to reality, only to
see you.
Thats what I chose
all scarifices of "love"
I suppose.
All seems swell
when Im drinking from your well
your juices casting spells
on my very soul.
Heart shattered in a frame so cold
these days appear old
yet rather familar stories untold
take toll
as you make space
in my heart
taking on new roles.
(to be continued)...

Hate Myself

I hate myself

for not understanding my way in life

I hate myself

for once again I prove them right

I fall despite

my efforts to rise

I survive

against their will

they feel

Im incompetent

insignificant

a burden to their world

forgotten pieces of a girl

I hate myself

for failing me

and sailing sea

of others before me.

Glory, seems so far from thee

I breathe hatred

it seeps in my pours unseen

and I dream, dreams

to reality pure make believe

yet I make myself believe

there'll be a better me

with time, for eternity is mine

and me is I

so I am eternity

thoughts of others hurting me

Dredful words

cursing me

burning me

like an ant in the ray of the sun

or

a prey in the way of the gun

I pray in the day for the sun

and at night as

it sets I'm thankful

Im grateful

for he hears my cry

and when I cry who but he

wipes my eyes

when tears clear I realize

we could all be happy

even with hatred you shoot past me

and I no longer have to

hate myself

for not understanding

for if I ask him

he shall answer me



By: CHIMEZ*

Victorious

Victorious

Doubt my abilities

Kill these opportunities

Decapitate my crown

Plaster censored smile

Claim me evil

Turn me equal

Just know the truth

holds my sequel

I claim my place amongst

these people

Feed my loved lies,as

My beauty you disguise

Take my hope

while

at my future you poke

Rip my dreams

Tell your neighbor

false truths of me

Yet believe

after its done my

Victory

shall come

So stab my back

To thee strangers you act

Deny my love

Shoot my body,Gun

Cast me, choose

another one

Refuse another

Hug

Rest on the lack of trust

Let it be clear my faiths up

Above

My spirits the sun, and

my heart wont rust

Lead me on a trail of

Death

Allow wolves to tear

at my chest

Call crows to pick my flesh

Beat me at my best

Remove my innocence

Convict life sentences

Bring elite warriors

For whatever the outcome

I was born to be

Victorious

Love Is A Word

Love is a word used so blindly

days lost, she often finds me

her touch, soft and tender

smile seeps to my inner

defrosting a frozen heart

and when she leaves

my heart pumps wet tears

to my frame

Love is a word

that has no name

just faded remnents of

joy and pain

lost and gain

ins and outs

of walls that grip so tightly

I try to take it lightly

for my mind constantly fights me

attempts to sike me

that

Love is just a word

that you give meaning

no heartaches

no hard feelings

simply just four letters

that will make you weep

for no reason.

I'm Tired

I'm tired of being frustrated with the same old love

unappreciative of my kisses and hugs

sorry attempts to assist me to forget

I was no longer with a sinner chic

and my calls go unheard along with my pleads

when i urge you I'm all you need.

Not insecure for I'm sure I can give this

but its hard to hear you with all your bullshit.

and I'm tired of loving a love that already has baggage

one of which dismisses my package, of peace

of serenity and ease. Only pauses to see me when Im walking out the door.

But I guess I wont be missed until your tired love has hurt you some more.

and I'm tired of reading my poems that are starting to sound

like yours before you and I were together.

tired of grey words and bad weather

on each page.

I've become worst, not that I was perfect

shit I was hurting, too

but put my shit aside to better you...

now I'm sinking on this ship and I can breathe only if, I quit

before we take sail.

Trying not to yell but my mind is bleeding

heart is aching yet tired love I'm leaving.

In heart, even if my physical is too weak to walk away.

I'm taking my heart before it all fades away.

I still want to believe in a love that's endless

hurt and still have forgiveness. Fall yet still get lifted.

see through rose colored glasses that hasnt yet been shifted and tinted with

mischiefs of man. I still want to feel butterflies by the touch of someones hands

and

melt inside when I know I can, make love til the cops come knoccin. Or until I

poke holes in your stockings. I challenge my mind to hope for beauty and not

become corrupt by worldly impurities. Im tired of miscommunication

it shows signs of misrepresentation, and who exactely are you? Guess I never

really asked; just felt you, maybe moved too fast. Sensuality caught a grasp of

my attention. You the Professor me the student in detention, but when you

looked my way my inner started listening... next, time stopped and you were kissing

me, then me you. jacuzzi and a clouded mental, tears rollin back so sentimental

roses and lilys so "Beautiful" I left I came back you came and you left me, havent

returned since. Doest make sense but Im tired... Of being alone and your house

isnt a home unless I come to visit and when Im gone my lovin you're missing. my mind's

tired along with my spirit tired of the distance.... Is this really worth it. To be the

Boss sure is costing more than that tatoo and I guess this ink on my heart isnt

coming off anytime soon. Im doomed without you, gloom has found you and

crept into the phone, I hear you.. Im scared too... Where will we go. I love

you yet its bittersweet, something like when you're kissing me, and Im

slipping to ecstacy but catch my kness before I scream because I know my plane

must leave to take me home.

to the place outside of your heart, your arms, and your soul. Push your hands

away for

I dont wont to be close, to another deadly dose of this teasing love you contain. I

refrain from this for I am tired, and my plane shall drift many miles away regardless...

I Feel Like

It feels like the walls are caving in

when I dont have my baby.

Which is more regular than most can imagine

hold on to images of the both of us laughing

time passing fastest when we're near

for the seconds take days to switch when you are not here.

Anticipating holding you again. At times my patience

wears thin, and grinning isnt an option when my heart is constantly stopping

for Im watching my life flash before my eyes. feels like Im dying.

Trapped like my heart in its chest cavity and if it should mange to be free

it wouldnt be able to face gravity. Thats how I feel, yet you magically catch

me everytime I slip. Making me go harder when I'm ready to quit. Look me in the

eyes so I wont forget why we're even doing this.Why Ive been persuing Miss

Temptress even before I tasted her lipstic, even before I knew how her hips

dipped, and her walls gripped, tighter than her jean fit her bottom. (to be continued)